Ashtanga yoga.. finding the flowing river of Self

This morning as I was practicing, things were clearly not the same ,not from looking on the outside or within me as I have some new poses of late in my practice which always stirs things up a lot.But there have been many days,that seem like I am repeating things over and over again in just the same way, but even on those days that seem rote and routine, ordinary, flux, transformation is subtly churning away without making a fuss or asking to be noticed. The process of change is often quiet,humble, unassuming yet present.
Today, I had a complex conversation with my daughter about topics we revisit often and my response is often the same and sometime I get frustrated with what seems to me the same question or my same response. Such encounters often lead to disconnection, discord. As I found myself hovering on the boundaries of vexation, my mind literally paused. I saw myself in my yoga practice, my same mat, my same asanas, my same breathing, yet when I saw the kaleidoscope of the thousands of times of me on my mat, each fleeting memory had a subtle difference in texture,quality and tone.As I watched myself practice in my mind , I realized that I had cultivated much patience in repeating these poses,each time a little differently with greater compassion ,depth and perception each time. I took a breath and realized,what good is this yoga , theses asanas that really have small import in my life compared to the great understanding and empathy that is required to be attuned to another human being , moreover, my own daughter,who on the outside may seem to be asking me the same question, but on the inside is struggling to reformulate something different,new, and possibly risky.So just as my yoga yoga practice changed deeply, yet subtly so too my responses today ,although on the outside may have been of the same content,yet they formed from a different more thoughtful, patient and supple person, from a new wellspring that has really been there all the time, but required a practice such as yoga for me to refind...

Why yoga every day....

Most of what I know about writing I’ve learned through running every day. These are practical, physical,lessons. How much can I push myself? How much rest is appropriate—and how much is too much? How far can I take some thing and still keep it decent and consistent? When does it become narrow-minded and inflexible? How much should I be aware of the world outside, and how much should I focus on my inner world? To what extent should I be confident in my abilities, and when should I start doubting myself? I know that if I hadn’t become a long-distance runner when I became a novelist, my work would have been vastly different. How different? Hard to say. But some thing would have definitely been different.

…People some times sneer at those who run every day, claiming they’ll go to any length to live longer. But I don’t think that’s the reason most people run. Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you’re going to while away the years, it’s far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive than in a fog, and I believe running helps you do that. Exerting your self to the fullest within your indi­vidual limits: that’s the essence of running and a metaphor for life—and for me, for writing as well. ...from Haruki Murukami,"What I Talk about when I Talk about Running"

We do yoga everyday for the same reasons, how to be confident in ourselves, when does self doubt arise, the boundary between flexibility and narrow mindedness, how much to focus on one's inner world vs the outside world,living with clear goals, living life to its fullest.....

More Reflections from Hanuman's words at Shasta

When Hanuman was asked about the meaning/purpose of life,these are some of the things that I remember he said to us at Shasta;
-I will continue to do what I always do
-Don't freak out(when the world is upside down in headstand or in life)
-There will be a meteorite shower tonight,you can see it if you look up at the sky
-Did you see the meteorite shower
-The goal is for you to become your own guru
-I am standing behind you right now(again when upside down)
-In answer to an earnest student who asked ,can I have your permission to be your student,"Yes"
-A nonverbal gesture to me,to remember to remove my shoes in a sacred place
-Thank you for jumping into the cold water with me
-This is my "friend",Fred"
-A guru will not always be here for you,you need to become your own guru
-Focus on your bhandas to still the mind ,reduce fear
-"One ,not two"
-I learned generosity and compassion from my guru

As in the Bhagavad Gita ,in a dialog of a few , but well chosen words , much is said with less, leaving much room for reflection.What I remember as I think about these words is something about basic integral values of living a good life.I need to remember that I am on my path in life,that somehow I chose it or it chose me,but there is no turning back and I must fulfill my destiny, my duties , my roles, I need to remain focused on one essential thing at a time ,to try to do best, that there is great honor and dignity in effort,to always esteem friendship and cherish my friends,to give pause to the sacred spaces at my feet,to remain calm in the face of tribulation,to promote and teach self reliance,to use self knowledge for the purpose of making the live's others better, otherwise it is an exercise of self indulgence and delusion, to look up at the sky or into space or out into our world to find the awe inspiring that is always there as Tim asked,"did you see the meteorite shower".One can only see if one chooses to look both inside ourselves and out into the world.I personally will remember ,"I will do what I always do".I understood this to imply that sometimes we find ourselves on an odyssey that at times may be against the grain, but it is something that we have become skillful at by practice and life wisdom.We should not waver or doubt in the truths that we know in our heart as they are hard-earned and have bee polished,chiseled,purified to their essence.We can not waver in self doubt on those values that emanate from our heart.
And Hanuman's words lead me back to the Bhagavad Gita as Krishna speaks words of encouragement to a Arjuna at a time that he is overcome with self doubt;

These words from the Bhagavad Gita;

Thou hast power only to act not over the result thereof. Act thou therefore without prospect of the result and without succcumbing to inaction
(
The translation follows thus

Karmani ave adhikars te
--you have the power to act only
ma phalesu kadachana
--you do not have the power to influence the result
ma karmaphal hetur bhoo
--therefore you must act without the anticipation of the result
ma sangostu akramani
--without succumbing to inaction
)”

“Sever the ignorant doubt in your heart with the sword of self-knowledge. Observe your discipline. Arise.”





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Happiness

I was talking to a friend tonight about how often the religious,moral point of view is about living a good life, doing good in the world and not so much about feeling good or being happy.Can one actually do good if one does not feel good?Can one know another if one does not know themselves?The answer to such questions is obviously complex and requires living one's life, asking such questions that may not have obvious answers. I think His Holiness, the Dalai Lama begins to give us some answers in his suggestions of how to live a good life;
Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules for Living
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
* Respect for self
* Respect for others
* Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,
you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation.
Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each
other exceeds your need for each other.
18.Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Praise for daily living

Secret

by Dorothea Tanning

On one of those birthdays of which I've had so many
I was walking home through the park from a party,

pleased that I'd resisted mentioning the birthday—
why hear congratulations for doing nothing but live?

The birthday was my secret with myself and gave me,
walking under all those trees, such a strong feeling of

satisfaction that everything else fell away: party sounds,
the hostess who stared and as suddenly disappeared

on seeing her husband walk in with a young(er ) friend;
another guest examining garment labels in the room

where I went to leave my jacket; one of two waiters
balancing a trayful of foot-high champagne glasses;

a bee-like buzz of voices I ought to have enjoyed
but heard as foreign babble, so remote it was from

a birthday, so empty of import nothing would remain.
I got my jacket, waved from the hall, pressed Down.

In summer the park, for an hour or so before night,
is at its greenest, a whole implicit proposition

of green leaves, a triumph of leaves enfolding me
that day in a green intimacy so trustworthy I told

them my secret: "It's my birthday," I said out loud
before turning away to cross the avenue.

"Secret" by Dorothea Tanning, from A Table of Content. © Graywolf Press, 2004. Reprinted with permission
This too from the Writer's Almanac


It is not my birthday today, mine is in the beginning of the summer,"why,hear congratulations for doing nothing but live". I am one who tends to keep things private, do not like when fusses are made about me. There are times I am disappointed in human responsiveness or lack thereof and know the intimacy of sharing a secret with a spread of light lit leaves as I walk through a park that becomes a trusted friend.I do however think, that congratulations is appropriate and necessary for every day that is lived as life has great challenges and magnificent triumphs, none of which comes without great effort and perseverance. So I am about praising all days of our living for the great risks,trials,tribulations and trying that we do every single ordinary day ,birthday or not.

Eve Speaks to Adam

Today from the Writer's Almanac;
I have often wondered what a conversation between Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden may have been like. I sometimes wonder
if I were that first woman on this planet what would I have thought or said or done in my life. And there are time that I often feel that every day of our lives ,each time we wake up afresh,that the dawn approaches anew we are the first woman and man and have the choice to feel,see, experience life as if this is the nascent moment of our being...
Excerpt from Paradise Lost

by John Milton

(Eve speaks to Adam)

With thee conversing I forget all time,
All seasons and their change, all please alike.
Sweet is the breath of morn, her rising sweet,
With charm of earliest birds; pleasant the sun
When first on this delightful land he spreads
His orient beams, on herb, tree, fruit, and flower,
Glistering with dew; fragrant the fertile earth
After soft showers; and sweet the coming on
Of grateful evening mild, then silent night
With this her solemn bird and this fair moon,
And these the gems of heav'n, her starry train:
But neither breath of morn when she ascends
With charm of earliest birds, nor rising sun
On this delightful land, nor herb, fruit, flower,
Glistring with dew, nor fragrance after showers,
Nor grateful evening mild, nor silent night
With this her solemn bird, nor walk by moon,
Or glittering starlight without thee is sweet.

Excerpt from "Paradise Lost" by John Milton.

Melting the layers of our physical being.....the path to Compassion and Generosity

I am nostalgic for the healing, energizing, subtle, thoughtful and poetic week I had at Mt. Shasta recently with the great teacher, ashtangi, guru, Tim Miller who generously imparted onto us the compassion and generosity that he received from his guru,Sri Patabi Jois,rip. A devoted fellow,yogi and friend asked Tim during one of our afternoon ,more oriented devotional practice sessions"why are here anyways,what are we really doing with our lives".Mt. Shasta is at an elevation of about 14,000 feet,so the air is thinner and breathing feels like more of a conscious effort.It leads one to think about the conscious choices, efforts we engage in our lives daily.Ashtanga yoga is ultimately a practice amongst many useful practices on this earth to gain self knowledge and ultimately to use this wisdom in compassion and with generosity in our daily relationships to others. We all have a dense physical armor that requires some melting,softening so we can begin to see our spiritual selves and polish that aspect of ourselves so we may be of some good to each other.
Ashtanga yoga provides some heat , to penetrate past our external layers,the inspirations and expirations of our practice sustain us as we delve deeper into the unexplored within ourselves.The week at Shasta begins with a Native American Purification Ceremony at Stewart Mineral Springs in Weed,Ca. led by elder,Jack Thom,Sr.,Walking Eagle,Hun-Na-itch,Karuk Spiritual Leader. The lodge occurs in utter blank darkness with hot rocks of the earth emitting radiant heat.The process literally begins to soften us,forcing us to look within as it is not possible to see outside of ourselves in such complete darkness.Fears that we fear to face emerge,resilience that is beyond our daily existence surfaces.The purpose of the lodge is to cleanse the mind , body and spirit from toxins,imperfections and negativisms,to begin the process of elevation of our spirits.One of the natural practices of respect was to give an offering of tobacco to the sacred fire as tradition upholds that we give an offering before we take anything for own needs.This is such a simple, but necessary aspect of living to always remember to give before we take.
One of the themes that continued to become apparent in the week with Tim at Shasta was that the ultimate purpose to practice yoga is to live with greater compassion and generosity .It is interesting that this time in Shasta coincides with a time in the Judaic year that begins with a season of self reflection as the cycle of the new spiritual year begins with the commemoration of the birth of earth and all of its creatures and the creation of the human being infused and inspired with an eternal soul that is temporarily housed in the physical space of a body. While at Shasta ,as I daily gazed upon the auspicious mountain, one morning I saw the vaguest hint of a lenticular cloud hovering over it's peak.Lenticular clouds and Mt Shatsa are a well suited partnership.It is as if the mountain offers a space for us to look up to and reflect to us some new unseen part of ourselves.
I will include here an excerpt from a pious, wise,scholarly ,Chassidic rebbe who reflects well on the nature of our yearning souls and the need penetrate the outer exterior layers to find that which is dearest and eternal within ourselves.
" Happy Birthday, Humanity by Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

Contrary to the popular belief, Rosh Hashanah does not commemorate the creation of the world. Rather, it commemorates the sixth day of creation, the day Adam was created. It is of interest that in the creation of man, G-d said, “Let us create man?” Whose participation was G-d seeking? The Baal Shem Tov explained that both animals and angels were created in a state of completion. Angels do not grow at all, and although animals do grow, they do not voluntarily change themselves. The transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly or a tadpole to a frog is programmed in their genes. They do not voluntarily make this transformation and are powerless to stop it.

G-d now desired a different creature, not totally physical like an animal nor completely spiritual like an angel. Rather, this was to be a creature that comes into the world completely physical, but by one’s sheer effort develops spiritually. For this, G-d required man’s participation. It is as if G-d said, “I can create you completely spiritual, but then you will be just another angel. I will create you physical, but with the potential to become spiritual by your own effort.” G-d was seeking man’s participation in his own creation. Therefore, G-d said to man, “Let us make man. I will give you the potential, and you must develop it.” Thus, Rosh Hashanah is our beginning.

If we develop only intellectually, with technologic and even scientific advancements, but neglect our spiritual development, we will be self-centered hominoids, with just a higher intellect than chimpanzees. To do our part in creation, to be the true human beings that G-d intended, we must be masters over our physicality rather than slaves to it. Spiritual development enables us to give of ourselves to others. Angels were created spiritual. Man has the ability to achieve a status higher than angels, because his spirituality is the result of his own efforts."
As this New Year of self rediscovery approaches may the results of all of our joint conscious efforts give forth to a world that is kinder,gentler,wiser,generous, and compassionate for all beings for all the days of our lives.May we only engage in such practices that lead to such."let us create man".Let us be the women and men that efforts of our internal wisdom leads to the existence of an intelligently compassionate world to live in.....




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Hanuman of Mount Shasta brings to us healing herbs...Sanjeevani

I recently returned from Mt. Shasta, California where I was at an ashtanga /hiking/healing retreat with Tim Miller aka "Hanuman"
who teaches us asana,pranayama and bhakti through devotional chanting and shares with us the wisdom of his lifetime journeys. Like Hanuman in the Ramanaya who brings back healing herbs of spiritual rejuvenation from the Dranagiri Mountain in the Himalayas ,so too the modern Hanuman of Mt. Shasta brings us healing herbs and inspiration from the energetic vortex of Mt. Shasta to help us become more grounded,yet lighter ,softer and ultimately more courageous and more adept at leading a life of compassion and generosity which he embodies so naturally.
I asked the Hanuman of Mt.Shasta ,this question," I/we are lucky to practice yoga and inquire in deeper ways to our own self knowledge. Most of the people that I encounter in my professional and personal world will never practice asana, pranayama or any other aspect of yoga.In light of this, what do you think is a quintessential way of being /interacting with others that I can impart onto them in my daily living that would embody the gifts that one gains access to in yoga. "Hanuman , then in confidence and with humility recited softly Patajali's yogs sutra 1.33


The Philosophy of Yoga (Yoga Sutra 1.33)

Yoga Sutra 1.33 – maitri karuna mudita upeksanam sukha duhkha punya apunya visayanam bhavanatah cittaprasadanam

Through the cultivation of friendliness, compassion, joy and indifference in the face of pleasure, pain, virtue and vice, the consciousness becomes favorably disposed, serene and benevolent. Development of these qualities keeps the mind in a state of well-being and lays the groundwork for our journey towards Self-Realization. Citta viksepa is a current of disturbed thoughts running like a river. In citta prasadana (graceful diffusion) this turbulent flow is dammed up and consciousness diffuses calmly like water in a lake. If the citta is caught in the web of the senses, and the sadhaka (student) fails to cultivate friendliness, compassion, delight and equanimity, then sorrow and unhappiness will arise in his heart. This sutra asks us to rejoice with those who are happy; to be compassionate to the sorrowful, friendly to the virtuous, and indifferent to those who continue to live in vice. This mental adjustment builds social as well as individual health. Besides cultivating these qualities, one should follow the social virtues of yama (11.30) for the well-being of society as a whole. This approach to life keeps the mind of the sadhaka serene and pure.
maitri-friendship
karuna-compassion
mudita-joy,delight
upeksanam-equanimity
sukha-joyful,happy,comfort
punya-virtue,goodness
pra-sadanam-purifying,clarification

from the Ramanaya;Hanuman brings the Sanjeevani to Rama -
Rama was frantic. His beloved brother lay dying and the only cure was tucked away on a forested mountainside far, far to the north. Big-hearted Hanuman could not bear to see their pain. He swelled into a giant; he flew; he battled deadly crocodiles and murderous ogres; he pitted his wits against powerful gods – all to deliver the precious medicinal plant Sanjeevani before it was too late. He brought the entire mountain to rest at Rama’s feet!
In Hindu mythology, Sanjeevani is a magical herb which has the power to cure any malady. It is believed that medicines prepared from this herb can even revive a dead person. This herb is mentioned in the Ramayana when, Ravana's son Indrajit hurls a powerful weapon at Lakshmana. Lakshmana is badly wounded and is nearly killed by Indrajeet. Hanuman was called upon to fetch this herb from the mount Dunagiri a.k.a Mahodaya in the Himalayas or Valley of Flowers[citation needed]. Upon reaching mount Sumeru, Hanuman was unable to identify the herb and decided to lift the entire mountain and brought it to the battle-field
So too, in the our times, The Hanuman of Mt. Shasta, Tim Miller gives us revivifying energy from the mountain to nourish,heal and enlighten our hearts and souls. Jai, Jai Hanuman!

from the Hanuman Chalisa;

11. Laaya sajeevana Lakhana jiyaaye
Shree Raghubeera harashi ura laaye

Bringing the magic herb you revived Lakshman
And Ram embraced you with delight.

36. Sankata katai mite saba peeraa,
jo sumire Hanumata bala beeraa
All affliction ceases and all pain is removed/
for those who remember the mighty hero, Hanuman.

One Thousand Months

Recently I heard a philosophical discussion about "what is a good life", meaning what constitutes a well- lived life. The question was asked,what would you do with your life if you could design it with intention to live this "good" life, if you had only one thousand months ,plus or minus some, to live. Would you be or do differently if you had already used up more than half of the thousand allotted to you. I am thinking about this all the time now as we all go through life quickly using up the approximate thousand months. What is a good life, does our idea of goodness in life change, become more urgent to answer when we realize how so very brief one thousand months really is. I will have some time in nature over the next week or so. This will be on my mind as I climb some rugged terrain beneath my feet and in the rugged recesses of my heart and soul...... answers, actions of goodness for a life lived, a life well lived...

"All children have the right to love,happiness and understanding", words from a child

from Magnum in motion

The poetry of ....Birth

This past winter in Northern Minnesota a webcam was installed in a the cave of a pregnant black bear Lily, as she birthed her new born calf. the voice of the newborn bear crying taking its first breath sounds just like us when we come through the birth canal and enter the word.This is the first time a birth of a wild black bear was captured on film.I was mesmerized by the sighs of the newborn and the reciprocal cooing of the new mom...poetry

We....the Lifeguards

my daughter shared this poem with me today;

The Lifeguard

BY JAMES L. DICKEY

In a stable of boats I lie still,
From all sleeping children hidden.
The leap of a fish from its shadow
Makes the whole lake instantly tremble.
With my foot on the water, I feel
The moon outside

Take on the utmost of its power.
I rise and go out through the boats.
I set my broad sole upon silver,
On the skin of the sky, on the moonlight,
Stepping outward from earth onto water
In quest of the miracle

This village of children believed
That I could perform as I dived
For one who had sunk from my sight.
I saw his cropped haircut go under.
I leapt, and my steep body flashed
Once, in the sun.

Dark drew all the light from my eyes.
Like a man who explores his death
By the pull of his slow-moving shoulders,
I hung head down in the cold,
Wide-eyed, contained, and alone
Among the weeds,

And my fingertips turned into stone
From clutching immovable blackness.
Time after time I leapt upward
Exploding in breath, and fell back
From the change in the children’s faces
At my defeat.

Beneath them I swam to the boathouse
With only my life in my arms
To wait for the lake to shine back
At the risen moon with such power
That my steps on the light of the ripples
Might be sustained.

Beneath me is nothing but brightness
Like the ghost of a snowfield in summer.
As I move toward the center of the lake,
Which is also the center of the moon,
I am thinking of how I may be
The savior of one

Who has already died in my care.
The dark trees fade from around me.
The moon’s dust hovers together.
I call softly out, and the child’s
Voice answers through blinding water.
Patiently, slowly,

He rises, dilating to break
The surface of stone with his forehead.
He is one I do not remember
Having ever seen in his life.
The ground I stand on is trembling
Upon his smile.

I wash the black mud from my hands.
On a light given off by the grave
I kneel in the quick of the moon
At the heart of a distant forest
And hold in my arms a child
Of water, water, water.


We are all lifeguards of sorts trying to protect, save, avert peril,. All parents, teachers, friends do this as their daily service. In my role as a parent, even to an adult child and my role as a doctor, I often feel that i am "clutching into darkness,exploding in breath " and despite my best efforts , nature has intentions and designs greater than my human wishes, hopes,and prayer. Does that mean that we or I ever stop trying. No.... never, not as long as there is someone I can reach out to , grasp into that darkness, and help them to find their breath, their voice "in the binding water". The answer to defeat is not surrender, but that we have so much important work to always do.... We are always lifeguards as much as possible with as many as is possible....