Holding my breath....in order to breathe

This morning in my yoga practice, I had large measures of internal struggle, so much so that half way through the standing poses (which I usually get great comfort and strength from),I considered stopping and wrapping up my practice, calling it a day, which I almost did. I have really never as of yet thought of actually stopping,ending my practice because my thoughts weighed so heavily on me ,I literally felt like I was suffocating,and yoga requires breathing,is all breathing.So, I paused,sat for a minute,collected myself, went to the rest room and continued to go on ,not in ease ,not with grace,not in elegance,just going on as best I could. the" going on" led me to focus my mind on my breath and my thoughts softened, i let go of the noose they tightened around my soul. Later during the day, I was thinking about a serious decision I needed to make today which would alter my life significantly and bring about abrupt changes. I realized I had been white knuckling it for about four months already, that I was gasping for air,feeling the torments of suffocating my own self. I also realized that some of my affinity towards ashtanga yoga has to do with the notion of taking control of one's breath,digging deeper and deeper within to find new open spaces that breath that once stagnated in crevices now flowed freely.I thought a lot about what it really means to be gentler,kinder to myself. i thought a lot about what seems right at least in this second of time for me. I thought about how I often obscure reality when I get myself into those situations that breath does not flow. When I breathe as completely with attention and awareness, I see vast possibilities that I could not allow myself to see.I realize sometimes I create a crisis in my head when there is no crisis in reality. I wage war with myself.I am not one that believes that miracles occur in isolation . Miracles to me are gifts,but they are in part as a result of some effort,some perception,some work at attempting to resolve one's inner struggles . Somehow that force ,wisdom,hope,energy within us unites with energies much greater than us and as a partner with that unknown a miracle ensues.
I am not feeling so submerged right now,but I am aware that sometimes that submergence, that feeling of suffocation,of not knowing where or if my next breath will emerge is ultimately necessary for my own growth.