Why I Blog

When I began my blog about a year and a half ago,I wrote a small piece to reflect upon why I was compelled to finally put into action and words my latent and burgeoning desires to write a blog or more accurately, an on- line journal of sorts. I am now revising and revisiting this query as to why I engage in this process, in writing my blog and why it is of meaning and value to share my thoughts,feelings,musings and reflections.
I have longed admired the discipline and practice of a daily journal to recall and ponder upon the day's unfoldings,as well as the unfoldings of my inner sphere,my relationships,my conflicts,my hopes,my sorrows,my joys,what I see as beautiful or hear as mellifluous or surprising or penetrating or worthy of remembering and sharing with others.I, at one time in my life lived abroad for many years.I recall sitting in the foothills of Jerusalem seeing out to a vista of a haze of violet shaded mountains,with shepherds tending their sheep and goat at an arm's length.I would often choose a high seat and gaze in astonishment at the beauty and sacredness of these private lofts.I would often write long letters to family,friends of my experiences as I was growing up with vast questions about the miracles and mysteries of life.You can say , in some ways ,I fell in love with the art of letter writing,much like the poet, Rilke ,who I much admire.
This blog has arisen in part in remembering the mystery and profound explorations of those early days of my adolescence and young adult years.I, now, in my middle years still am an impassioned romantic at heart ,even with the bristling experiences that life sometimes sends our way.I write this blog in part to grasp the hopeful aspects of our existence and to share it with those that the notion of hope may be tenuous .I have called my blog Rhiannon's Kairos.Rhiannon is similar in sound to my birth name.It is the name of a Celtic queen.I l relish the way words sound and reverberate through our vocal cords like wind whirling ,whooshing inside of us,thus Rhiannon resonates ,with my sometimes airy nature.Kairos is a Greek word that first appeared in Homer's Iliad.It carries the meaning of "opportuned time,the right time".It connotes a spatial quality of time rather than linear time.Opportunity can be missed,bring forth pain, regret or vulnerability.Opportunity can be a time for growth,restitution, healing, the birth and alignment of opposing forces that fall into perfect harmony that help us reach something closer to the divine abiding within us.It can be those rare moments that our mere human existence transcends our corporeal nature and we see clearly for brief moments and we are then not bound by the confines of only what we define as now.In those opportuned moments we can be nearer to a clairvoyant state of knowing that which was previously obscure to us about ourselves and others.
The word ,"kairos" was introduced to me when I was in training to become a psychiatrist , by my beloved mentor ,Jarl Dyrud ,M.D.who would refer to the experience of kairos when he would supervise me regarding patients that I saw as I trained to become a child and adolescent psychiatrist.His supervising me was a gift of remarkable pearls of wisdom and insight to carry with me as I work with my patients today.He embodied a fluid ,poetic , sage like persona that influenced all interactions with him and as a by product and living example, how I aspired to interact with my patients. He explained to me that "kairos" happened when a constellation of experiences coalesced in a single moment so what was right, appropriate,novel, needed, longed for,suddenly had the possibility to come into fruition for only this moment.He spoke of Odysseus at perilous sea snared ,entrapped by forces beyond himself and his own internal conflicts,not knowing where or how to proceed,as he could not go forth, then suddenly something in the quality of a raging sea changes, the gods are appeased,Odysseus comes to a place of rest within himself,he was the brief state of clairvoyance .His keen attention is like a taught bow string from which an arrow is shot forth with clear piercing direction. The word kairos is later in time in ancient Greece used in reference to archery as a quality of opportuned strength,goal and direction as a well aimed arrow shot into the space of future and opportunity.Eric White in his work,"Karromania" describes kairos in its origins as follows," from the “opportunity” in archery for the archer to shoot the arrow down an imaginary tunnel, with not only accuracy but strength enough to penetrate the target; and the time when a weaver must pull yarn through a gap that briefly opens in the cloth being woven." He says, “Success depends… on adaptation to an always mutating situation” .
I ,too am on my own journeys with twists and turns and mutations. .I look for these openings in space and time to offer new opportunity and am constantly refining and retuning my senses and attention to see and seize these moments of new exploration.I look forward to those opportune moments ,where the sun shines through a crack in the clouds to illuminate all that is of of subtle magnificence such that I am astounded once again.My blog is to honor those moments of astonishment ,of tangible and metaphoric hopefulness and share it when I am able.In this blog, I share poems or prose that I write,inspirations that come forth when I practice yoga , exposing you to some of my favorite poems,prose,poets, writers that have added joy and inspiration to my daily life, music that lifts my soul, and photographs that I attempt to capture some of the "astonishing" that is here right now,wherever I am .This blog is to remember ,Jarl,my mentor, for kindness, his generosity,his wisdom and share it with you. I hope my blog will in some ways embody the words that Edna St. Vincent Millay spoke in this poem;

God's World
BY EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY
O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!
Thy winds, thy wide grey skies!
Thy mists, that roll and rise!
Thy woods, this autumn day, that ache and sag
And all but cry with colour! That gaunt crag
To crush! To lift the lean of that black bluff!
World, World, I cannot get thee close enough!

Long have I known a glory in it all,
But never knew I this;
Here such a passion is
As stretcheth me apart,—Lord, I do fear
Thou’st made the world too beautiful this year;
My soul is all but out of me,—let fall
No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call.


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