We....the Lifeguards

my daughter shared this poem with me today;

The Lifeguard

BY JAMES L. DICKEY

In a stable of boats I lie still,
From all sleeping children hidden.
The leap of a fish from its shadow
Makes the whole lake instantly tremble.
With my foot on the water, I feel
The moon outside

Take on the utmost of its power.
I rise and go out through the boats.
I set my broad sole upon silver,
On the skin of the sky, on the moonlight,
Stepping outward from earth onto water
In quest of the miracle

This village of children believed
That I could perform as I dived
For one who had sunk from my sight.
I saw his cropped haircut go under.
I leapt, and my steep body flashed
Once, in the sun.

Dark drew all the light from my eyes.
Like a man who explores his death
By the pull of his slow-moving shoulders,
I hung head down in the cold,
Wide-eyed, contained, and alone
Among the weeds,

And my fingertips turned into stone
From clutching immovable blackness.
Time after time I leapt upward
Exploding in breath, and fell back
From the change in the children’s faces
At my defeat.

Beneath them I swam to the boathouse
With only my life in my arms
To wait for the lake to shine back
At the risen moon with such power
That my steps on the light of the ripples
Might be sustained.

Beneath me is nothing but brightness
Like the ghost of a snowfield in summer.
As I move toward the center of the lake,
Which is also the center of the moon,
I am thinking of how I may be
The savior of one

Who has already died in my care.
The dark trees fade from around me.
The moon’s dust hovers together.
I call softly out, and the child’s
Voice answers through blinding water.
Patiently, slowly,

He rises, dilating to break
The surface of stone with his forehead.
He is one I do not remember
Having ever seen in his life.
The ground I stand on is trembling
Upon his smile.

I wash the black mud from my hands.
On a light given off by the grave
I kneel in the quick of the moon
At the heart of a distant forest
And hold in my arms a child
Of water, water, water.


We are all lifeguards of sorts trying to protect, save, avert peril,. All parents, teachers, friends do this as their daily service. In my role as a parent, even to an adult child and my role as a doctor, I often feel that i am "clutching into darkness,exploding in breath " and despite my best efforts , nature has intentions and designs greater than my human wishes, hopes,and prayer. Does that mean that we or I ever stop trying. No.... never, not as long as there is someone I can reach out to , grasp into that darkness, and help them to find their breath, their voice "in the binding water". The answer to defeat is not surrender, but that we have so much important work to always do.... We are always lifeguards as much as possible with as many as is possible....