I guess the real question for me lies in ,will I carry these lessons learned on the mat into my life,will I integrate what I have struggled with and sometimes resolved into the fabric of my daily life in some seamless ,effortless fashion. An essential lesson that keeps resurfacing for me is attending to the quality of my breath, listening for its ebbs and flows,its source,its rhythm .Following quietly the trailing edge of my breath ,the truth of where and who I am unfolds with greater clarity.Noticing the brief pause between each inhalation and exhalation is an opportunity to hover in an undefined space and explore that about myself that I may not know.
So here are my recent ponderings that I carry with me off the mat into this space that I live my life;
Sometimes a pose is oh so challenging that I lose the rhythm of my breath,I push too hard,to the point of tears,sometimes to nausea and in a brief pause between breath a hint of resolve appears and I begin to ask ,where are you going exactly and for what purpose and at what cost.
Sometimes I find myself surrendering, backing off,treading gingerly, in that surrender there is a kind of freedom, an acceptance,a discovery that growth can occur without struggle and without always challenging myself beyond my comfort zone.
A recurrent theme seems to be emerging, that is learning to accept the way things are,that I really have no power to disrupt and let it all be just as it is and when i am in such a stance of inaction to reask myself if this is an excuse for passivity, as creativity ,passion,knowledge often emerges amidst struggle and challenge.There are times that one's actions can save a life,avert a disaster,bring joy into another' s world and I guess the same can probably be said of inaction and surrender as well.
So , on the mat I am engaging in this ongoing dance , dialogue with my physical,energetic,spiritual , mental self and at the same time there is often just the quiet of my breath,the rhythms of my body in movement,my thoughts in suspension.
I really do not know if any of this has real meaning, yet in the moment it often feels so important when it is not really.
I guess the lesson I am learning is not take anything for granted on or off the mat,but at the same time to understand that what may seem so important in any passing moment will eventually pass.So yoga continues to shed light for me on at least listening to my breath,possibility listening to your breath when you are in my presence and perhaps we can understand the unique experience of seeing each other more clearly....
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