"Attachment theory" as formulated by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby suggests that we as humans and possibly most primates are hard wired from infancy to seek out the proximity of an attachment figure in times of stress.Infants,then become "attached" to those primary caregivers who are sensitive,responsive,interactive and consistent through their social and emotional responsiveness to them.As children,they can then venture forth in the world to explore carrying with them the memories and feelings of that secure base from where they originated.
I recently returned from a retreat where we examined neurobiological theories of human connectedness/attachment to others and how our self awareness and awareness of other's mind states ie;empathy relates to ancient practices of awareness and mindfulness.Incorporated into the retreat were daily exercises in guided meditation using techniques of mindfulness that were embedded in a more scientific tradition and techniques embedded in traditional wisdom of the ages.As I sat in meditation guided by Roshi Joan Halifax in the Buddhist tradition and in meditation guided by Dr. Dan Siegel from a more science based tradition ,I had an intense similar emotional response to both,but more heartfelt through the ancient traditions of wisdom.
So here is what I felt in the meditation guided by Roshi,I have never before had such a viscersal ,physical sensation of" mercy".I had a clear visual and tactile sensation as I saw and touched the external strong pulsating fibers of my own heart' s chambers.I could feel my fingers gently cupping,massaging each rhythmic beat as clear raindrops of tears slid through the cracks between my fingers dropping slowly towards the earth.I felt this warm radiant fullness , of " mercy" , ironically for myself and all the trials and tribulations, the journeys of my life.I saw some regrets ,some joys, some triumphant moments ,some bitter mistakes,but for what I imagine is the very first time for me, I felt compassion for me ,that my intention usually is to do my best, even though the outcome may not always seem that way.I sat with that feeling for a long time as my eyes welled with tears and my heart pumped out tears as well. I wondered if I ever really was truly empathic to others as I had never really looked straight into my own eyes for my own forgiveness and compassion for and with myself.I have added a daily meditation to my yoga practice.I now look forward to sitting in a quiet lotus seat where I can see my heart more clearly. I wonder what places this now will begin to lead me to.I wonder if my own secure attachments,the unconscious knowing that I have been loved will allow me greater self love and compassion for others in a real heart felt sense....
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
No comments:
Post a Comment